Sawyer Stealing Cher's Bag

While being productive and watching old Aerosmith videos, remembering how much I wanted to be Alicia Silverstone wearing that flowery babydoll dress and combat boots, hitchhiking in the desert, I made a discovery. The 90's bowl-cut babe that steals her awesome Native American patchwork bag in the coffee shop is Sawyer. James Ford. You know. Check him out-

They make eye contact. Then she makes her pouty face, for some reason walks away to read a magazine "sexily" (what?), which is when he steals her bag. Rough day for Cher.

German Pancake Wonder

Easy and impressive-looking breakfast. You need a cast-iron skillet, which you should have already because they're great, if only for making this one thing. I use this recipe and it's always good. It's basically a big flat popover. But skip that compote business and mix some good fancy jam with sour cream. It makes a sweet, tangy topping. I do it with wild strawberry jam. It tastes just like ice cream.

Uni, Lovebugs, and Goats

St. John, Virgin Islands. Animals everywhere! Families of chickens roam all the parking lots.

These scary but beautiful bugs were crawling around my head on the beach at Cinnamon Bay. The pattern on their backs looks painted on. The park ranger said they were "lovebugs" but that sounds kind of made up and not the official name I was looking for. Maybe they're called lovebugs because they're always in these big swarming piles, "loving" each other, if you catch my drift.

One day, I was forced to go on a hike. After climbing over giant sharp rocks around the shore and making our way up the mountain, we got to this old sugar mill. It was built in the early 1800's. Horses would run in circles around the horse mill (still standing, amazingly) which powered a cane crusher, sending pure sugar cane juice pouring down the troughs to be boiled and turned into sugar. The mill was later powered by steam engine.

Behind the sugar mill ruins are these huge hermit crabs. Thousands of them crawl around the horse mill. They're so big you can actually hear them breaking branches and weeds as they walk.

The facility was also a rum distillery. Rum (and a few beers) are the only thing that St. John produces. They grow no produce and make nothing else to export. You expect tropical places to have fresh wonderful fruit, but everything on the island is shipped in from the mainland, making shopping for fresh stuff hugely expensive. Let's take out a loan for some watermelon!

The island seems to only recycle aluminum cans. I guess this is how they recycle their cardboard.
They really do eat anything. Also, have you ever heard a baby goat say "Baaa"? It sounds like a little human child pretending to be a goat. It has to be the most accurate "what does the animal say" I have ever heard. They really say "Ba-a-a-a-a".

And now. The most awesome part of the trip. Walking along our empty beach on the first day, we saw hundreds of little sea urchins in the water. Uni! We picked a few up and examined them, wondering if there were the kind that make the succulent, briny, sweet orange goo. The first few were very nice. I touched them, they wiggled, I put them back. Then I found the big daddy sea urchin. I swayed a piece of seaweed above him to watch his needles move, and he poked me. I deserved it, I know. A chunk broke off in my finger, but what was scary was the dark blue color seeping under my skin - sea urchin ink. We vowed to eat him the next day. We went out with a metal spatula, pried him (or a relative, they look so much alike really) and plucked him up, along with a few others. Beautiful, right?
I watched a video on how to take them apart. It was gross and bloody and black oozy. And I felt really bad about it. Then I got past it and we cracked into it and took out the good parts.
And they were so not good. They looked right, but tasted rotten and fishy and not at all like the delicate golden uni you eat at restaurants. So we apologized to the one we killed, and gently placed the rest back in the ocean.

Also, obligatory pretty ocean shot. This is Cinnamon Bay, by far my favorite of all the many bays.

The Ernie Hudson Project

Because I believe Ernie Hudson to be the most type-cast actor in history, I've amassed a list of movies and television episodes in which he plays an authority figure, specifically a law enforcement official. These are listed almost solely based on whether his character's official title was included on IMDB. I tried to research the others but even I don't have that much time. Think of how many more there could be. You can even just read the character titles in red to get the idea.

Detective School, 1979- Bombacaa
Underground Aces, 1981- African General
Two of a Kind, 1983- Detective Skaggs
Ghostbusters, 1984- Winston Zeddmore (okay, not really a cop, but kind of)
Joy of Sex, 1984- School Principle Mr. Porter
The Last Precinct, 1986- Sergeant "Night Train" Lane
Cop Rock, 1990- No name
Batman (animated TV show), 1992- Security Guard
Lifestories: Families in Crisis, 1994- Coach Seldon
The Crow, 1994- Sergeant Albrecht (this is where my fascination started.)
The Cowboy Way, 1994- Officer Sam 'Mad Dog' Shaw
Airheads, 1994- Sergeant O'Malley
Congo, 1995- Captain Monro Kelly
The Substitute, 1995- Principal Claude Rolle
For Which He Stands, 1996- DEA Agent Baxter
Mr. Magoo, 1997- CIA Agent Gus Anders
Best of the Best: Without Warning, 1998- Detective Gresko
Hijack, 1999- Senator Douglas Wilson
Stealth Fighter, 1999- President Westwood
Red Letters, 2000- Detective Glen Teal
Paper Bullets, 2000- Detective Ron Mills
Miss Congeniality, 2000- FBI Assistant Director Harry McDonald
OZ, 1997-2003- Warden Leo Glynn (thats 6 years of playing a prison warden.)
Annie B. Real, 2003- Principal Davis
10:8 Officers on Duty, 2003- Senior Deputy John Henry Barnes
The Ron Clark Story, 2006- Principal Turner
Crossing Jordan, 2006- Colonel Wirth
ER, 2006- Colonel James Gallant
Desperate Housewives, 2006-2007- Detective Ridley
Nobel Son, 2007- Sergeant Bill Canega
Final Approach, 2007- Agent Lorenzo Dawson
Balancing the Books, 2008- Detective Carter
Private Practice, 2008- Captain Frank
Lonely Street, 2009- Captain Morgan
Meteor, 2009- General Brasser
Heroes, 2009- Captain Lubbock

Thank you. My life's goal is complete.

José Gonzalez, Teardrop cover

I peaked at 7.

Linen Post Cards

I discovered these linen postcards a while ago, bid on a gigantic "lot" of them on eBay and started making cards out of them. My big card business stalled out when only 3 people bought them on Etsy. Which was good, because I hated parting with them. I just want them all to myself. But I have about 300, so, if you ever need an already-written-on postcard...

"Hello folks. Hope you are getting along okay. We are feeling fine. Sun shining this morning- for a change. 10 showers + 2 hard rains yesterday." -Sunrise Beach, 1949

"We see beautiful sights all along the way." - Pomona, 1937

"It's nice and warm down here. Been on the beach all day long. Got quite a burn." - Miami Beach, 1955

"Sweating it out on this island, lush with coconuts and blazing sunshine. Painting a series of pirate pictures- also taking three classes a week of Spanish. Regards to Ted and Tike." -Key West, 1947

This frightens me.

Check out Chatroulette. It hooks you up with random people with computer cameras waiting to chat. It has the effect of making me giggly, nervous, and very uncomfortable all at once. I mostly just see who pops up, see that its a creepy looking dude, and skip to the next. Last night, I was sitting at a table with people playing poker and they were dealing out cards to me. But I guess I got a taste of my own medicine because they got bored and skipped me.

Here's what it looks like. This is Loki waiting patiently for someone to talk to. Maybe if we wait long enough, another loser holding their cat up to a computer will show up and he can make a friend.