Sunday, September 25, 2011
I Knew It
So I went to a bar the other night and decided to waste some money on the jukebox. I figured there were $100 worth of songs in there before mine, so maybe I'd never even hear them, but sometimes everyone else thinks that too, and you get lucky and your song comes on right away. And you go "Hey! I played this! It really came on!" and that's fun. Even though everyone goes, "Really? This?" Anyway, so I play some songs and go back to sitting around drinking garbage beer. About an hour later, my songs still hadn't come on. I half-jokingly said "I bet it's not even hooked up to the speakers. I bet they just let the drunks funnel their money into the machine while the bartenders actually have their own iPod playing, but the drunks never notice and then they just leave."
After another hour, I started to believe my own conspiracy theory, so I decided to ask the bartender. "This might be a dumb question," I said, "but do the songs you play on the jukebox ever actually come on?" and she responded, "No, it's actually just hooked up to my iPod. How many songs did you play? I'll give you your money back." WHAT? Can you believe that? Can you imagine how many stupid drunk people pour money into that thing, thinking, "Gee, my song should come on any second now"? Never again.
And yes, the songs I was so sadly deprived of were all Ke$ha, 3 in a row, but that doesn't make it any less unfair.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Owl Ghost
A woman in Kendal, England came home to find this ghostly owl print on her window. According to the BBC article, it was caused by the owl's "powder down" when it flew into the clean glass. The article says powder down is a protective substance on growing feathers. Wikipedia, however, describes powder down as the type of feathers themselves, which disintegrate at the tips over time, causing "feather dust". Either way, it sounds extremely sneezy. But pretty, isn't it?
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Basset Hounds Running
These are my favorites. The rest are just as cute and flabby. Check them out at Buzzfeed, ya know, if you're into this sorta thing.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Ja Rule
Someone was talking about Ja Rule the other day and I asked if he was the rapper who looks like an angry little cartoon mouse. He does, right?
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Notable Googles
You start typing into the Google search bar and autofill shows the last phrases that you searched for, starting with that letter. And you think why, WHY was I looking that up? Its even better when someone is looking over your shoulder, so you type really fast to try to make it go away. Here are some of my own, verbatim, from the embarrassing to the unexplainable. I suggest you try it at home. I realize that this may be fun to no one but me. Is it like listening to someone else's dreams? Oh well. Try it at home. You'll see. Where more information is needed, please follow the link.
- Alyssa Milano breasts - there are many variations of this; I'll spare you the rest.
- Animal
- Baby carrots bad for you
- Benny, Sandlot - You're with me right? This was on TV every day.
- Chase No Face
- Claudia, Babysitters Club
- Clueless workout outfit - image of this impossible to find. Hence why I could not find my own plaid leotard for the gym, a la Cher Horowitz.
- Dick laser
- Curly duck penis
- How to make YouTube compilations - Runner up for most embarrasing. It's like I'm fucking 60.
- Justin Beiber lesbian look alikes - Hit and miss, but the fact that, when looking at this site, you EVER have to ask yourself, "Wait is that actually Justin Bieber or one of the lesbians that looks like him?" is why it's great.
- Megan Fox weird thumbs- besides being kind of a nutjob (look up "weird megan Fox quotes") she has toes on her hands.
- Mountain Dew Mouth - Clearly they picked the least horrifying picture they could find.
- Nicholas Brendon - Why was I searching for Xander? How bored was I?
- party in the usa lyrics
- Rolling pigs like dice - Um, what?
- Rufio from Hook - Babe.
- Scary Christmas Song - its pretty but it always gives me the chills, in a scary way.
- Super Mario Bros radish
- Sea water salty - yes, yes it is.
- Shark music
- Two girls one cup - I will not link to this.
- Who was Adam and Eve's son?
I'd be happy to hear your most embarrassing searches, in the comments. Ha. The comments. Hope I have enough bandwidth!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Vena Cava
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